Tag: Humour

You know you are from ICSE when

You know you are from ICSE when:

1) you come to the US for college, and kids here think you were born in the States coz u speak just like them

2) randomly using words/phrases such as ‘sooth’, ‘thou art’, ‘wherewithal’ etc is completely normal in 9th and 10th (coz of all the Shakespeare)

3) you go to junior college (at least in Bombay) and automatically become best buddies with another ICSE kid, even if he’s from the school you hated all your life until then..

4) you are the only one who understands the concept of ‘reading time’ in an exam

5) you memorized 36 chapters for your hindi paper, but to this day have trouble with constructing a paragraph in formal hindi

6) you went for tuition for every conceivable subject on the planet, english, hindi, comps, science, history, geography, maths.. and maybe even SUPW

7) you actually understood what SUPW was.. and when you read the above post.. you thought, ‘ohhh that’s right, we had that shit too’

8) you went to CBSE/State board after ICSE, looked at their english textbook and thought to yourself.. ‘man, 2nd graders at my school could’ve aced this rubbish’

9) even the peons and the cleaning ladies at school spoke better English than most of your Junior College/College profs

10) most of your batch had cellphones by the time they were in 9th grade, and they all lived 15 minutes away from school

11) your Annual Day/ Sports Day Parades were more coordinated than many other great Parades!

12) your Hindi teacher often had to resort to English to explain stuff to some of your classmates

13) there had to be at least one celebrity kid in your batch (there just has to be!.. especially in Bombay)

14) your school participated only in inter-ICSE sports fest (they pretended they didn’t want to associate with all the hoi polloi.. but the real reason was that they would get creamed by the State Board kids)

15) a score rise of 30% from your prelims to the Boards was considered perfectly normal.

16) you actually prayed to Xavier Pinto and Francis Fanthome before the boards (dunno who the head honchos are now, in my day I prayed to them)

17) your prom/social looked like a Bollywood awards party

18) some of the chicks in your school were hotter than the current Miss India (note: tribute to ICSE chicks.. I’ve seen a lot of women all over the country and have never met a really hot girl who wasn’t an ICSE product.. ICSE women ROCK!)

19) your school grilled you so hard that the Boards were the exam that you studied most for in life… and will always stay that way

20) in college most of the other kids drinking, smoking or doing weed are ICSE kids or they’re from Delhi (no offence Delhiites.. hehe)

21) you look at what’s being taught in your college intro chem course and you go.. ‘wait a minute, didn’t I do all this in the 8th grade?’

22) you got a 90 plus in the boards and thought you were ready to rule the world.. but then 2 years later you realised that it wasn’t enough to clear the IIT-JEE

23) you had your first girlfriend/boyfriend much before 9th grade

24) in junior college/college, you were considered a snob, and you loved it!

25) at least one of your friends was driving his own car by the time you were in the 10th grade

26) When your SSC Frnd (that is, if you have one!) doesn’t understand whatever is written above (It’s English, remember?).

27) If you have preserved your copy of Juilius Caesar and Whispers of Immortality and frequently compare it with the crappy and offensive State board / CBSE english textbooks!

28) When you consider going for SUPW trips is as good as a casual outing!

29) When you scowl when a state board friend (that is, if your arrogance of ICSE allows you to keep one!) asks you to help him in English and you think, “God, thank God I was in ICSE”.

30) When scoring a 95% either means you actually slogged your ass off in the last month (February) or you are an above average student who was lucky (Ahh..the power of scaling up in the ICSE)

31) You assume that state-board or CBSE schools are only where your maid’s kids go!

 

Please See: This is not my work..putting it simply because I loved it*******This is purely for entertainment reasons. There is no intention of insulting anyone from any caste, religion, creed, sex, group, Board, community etc. Hence, I would appreciate if it is taken lightly and does not attract any legal actions

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Bear Shot ;)

An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him
how he was feeling.

“I’ve never been better!” he boasted. “I’ve got an eighteen year old bride
who’s pregnant and having my child!

What do you think about that?”

The doctor considered this for a moment, then said,”Let me tell you a story.

I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day
went out in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella
instead of his gun.”

The doctor continued, “So he was in the woods and suddenly a grizzly bear
appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear
and squeezed the handle.”

“And do you know what happened?” the doctor queried.

Dumbfounded, the old man replied “No.”

The doctor continued, “The bear dropped dead in front of him!”

“That’s impossible!” exclaimed the old man. “Someone else must have shot
that bear.”

“That’s kind of what I’m getting at…” replied the doctor

Translation Error:)

Well came across this funny mail..which simply translates the commonly used english phrases..in hindi..and then you see what happens….here it goes

Have a nice day!
—– * Achcha din lo!

What’s up?
—– *Uppar kya hai?

You’re kidding!
—– *Tum bachcha bana rahe ho! HAHAHAHAHA

Don’t kid me!
—– * Mera bachcha mat banaao! HAHAHAHAHAHA

Yo, baby! What’s up?
—–* Beti Yo, uppar kya hai?

Cool man!
—–* Thandaa aadmi!

Check this out, man!
—-* Iskee chaanbeen karo, aadmi!

Don’t mess with me, dude.
—– * Mere saath gandagi mat karo, e vyakti.

She’s so fine!
—– * Woh itnee baareek hai!

Listen buddy, that chick’s mine, okay!?
—– * Suno dost, woh chooza mera hai, theek? ROFL…chooza…HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Hey good looking; what’s cooking?
—-* Arrey sundarta ki devi; kya pakaa rahee ho?

Are you nuts?
—– * Kya aap akhrot hain? ROFL!!

Son of a gun.
—– * Bachcha bandook ka.

Rock the party.
—- * Party mein patthar feko.

How do you do?
—– * Kaise karte ho? LOL….ROFL….HAHAHAHAHAHA

Keep in touch!
—– * Chhoote Raho. (shauk se  )

Lets hang out!
—– * Chalo bahar latakte hain